We see all of the joy, hard work, and pride—we see money well-earned and money well-spent. We also often see the biases people have, the (avoidable) mistakes people make, and the hurdles people face over and over again. And this is not to say we are desensitized to the circle of life and the value of wealth and the tragedy of aging and dying and the ultimate transfer of such wealth—however, it is to say that we believe we approach it with a unique kind of sobriety and, hopefully, wisdom.
Picture this: your life is full of moving parts—accounts, credit cards, bills, investments, passwords, medical records, insurance policies. Over the years, you build systems that work for you and your family, tailored to your preferences and habits, and your processes are practically second nature to you or your spouse. However, the reality is that one day, your life could look and feel normal, and the very next, everything could change. Imagine that your spouse passes away, and suddenly, you’re faced with an overwhelming number of decisions and responsibilities, and your systems no longer work for you.
You’ll need to handle immediate tasks like arranging the funeral, obtaining death certificates, and notifying family and close friends. Then come the legal and financial hurdles: locating the will (if you have one) and all financial assets/accounts, contacting an attorney (do you have one in mind?), and beginning the probate process (that could have possibly been avoided). If accounts weren’t set up properly or simply (spoiler alert, they rarely are as simple as they could be), you might struggle to access bank accounts, investment portfolios, or even pay basic bills, especially if titling/ownership or beneficiary designations were wonky and/or missing. You’ll have to update beneficiaries, transfer ownership of assets, and apply for life insurance proceeds if a policy was in place. There’s also Social Security, employer/pension benefits, and retirement accounts to sort through, each with its own unique forms, process, and timeline. On top of the logistics and next steps after a person passes away, there’s the longer-term reality to consider and work through. How does this change your retirement plan? Do you need to rethink your budget? Change your living situation? Update your own will or estate plan? What about the role of your kids now that it’s just you? These are just a few of the many questions that suddenly land in your lap, needing to be addressed.
None of what I described above happens quickly, easily, or uniformly, by the way, even in the most organized of estates, let alone an unorganized one. The sheer number of things that need to be located, tracked down, transferred, closed, or attended to in some way is uncharted territory and completely overwhelming, especially while grieving. And while adult children may be willing to help, if they’re even in the picture, they are often already stretched thin with careers, families, and their own day-to-day responsibilities. Not a single elderly person I know enlists the help of their children without feeling some level of guilt or shame about it, and not a single adult child I know doesn’t feel the stress and weight of navigating these circumstances with their parent. It is an emotional and logistical burden, the magnitude of which is unfortunately not realized by a family until they’re deep, deep in the thick of it.
When we urge clients to get their financial and logistical affairs in better order, it’s not just a theory or a talking point. It’s a critical concept we see play out in real time. The reality is that the world moves fast, and technology moves even faster. Banking is no longer as simple as walking into a branch. Logging into an account often requires multi-factor authentication, new security protocols, and frequent password resets—and for good reason; cybersecurity threats are everywhere, and elderly people are often the target. Financial accounts and policies are buried under layers of paperwork or hidden behind digital walls that weren’t there just a decade ago. Even paying bills, something that once took a checkbook and a stamp, now often requires navigating online portals that change their layouts every few months or have the ability to be on auto-pay from various types of instruments whether ACH or credit card or Apple Pay. We see this all the time with our clients: aging parents frustrated or even paralyzed by the ever-changing digital landscape, unable to access what they need when they need it most (even making a 1-800 call and working through the correct pre-recorded prompts can be challenging for elderly people). For aging people, this can be frustrating, exhausting, and even isolating. And for adult children, it can be a source of stress, knowing that one day (if you aren’t already there), you will likely have to step in and get a handle on the accounts, passwords, and bill paying, often in a moment of crisis, when emotions are already running high.
I can’t stress enough how working with—and yes, paying for—a financial advisor could pay dividends in ways people don’t always realize until they need it most. Beyond just managing investments, a trusted advisor is there to help simplify, organize, and provide guidance through life’s inevitable transitions, and ideally, proactively. The real value goes beyond the potential for long-term asset growth (although that is often a primary drive for many individuals), but in the peace of mind that comes from knowing you have a professional who always aims to understand your full picture, who can step in when things get complicated, and who can help guide you and your family through unforeseen circumstances. When the unexpected happens—whether it’s a health issue, a sudden need for long-term care, or just the mounting complexity of managing finances in a digital world—having someone who is familiar with your situation and can provide informed guidance from a place of experience may help you navigate these challenges.
As an aging person who might be fully capable (for now), I’d urge you to consider this—consider it for your spouse in the event he/she survives you, and consider it for your adult children who will likely survive both you and your spouse. As an adult child of an aging person, I implore you to consider this stuff as well. Recognize that having a professional you trust to lean on during these hurdles might be well worth the management fee you pay to help grow your assets over time. I would argue that the value of informed guidance can often outweigh the stress and complexity of navigating financial decisions alone. It’s hard to articulate just how crucial this is without feeling like I’m preaching, but we know from experience that when people take these steps proactively, they spare themselves and their loved ones an incredible amount of stress. And when they don’t, well—we unfortunately see what happens then, too.
Many of you may have heard us make these points in the past, and we will continue to make them because we believe it is in your best interest. Consolidating and streamlining finances and updating/organizing key documents isn’t about giving up your independence or admitting aging—it’s about aiming to preserve it in a way that ensures security and peace of mind for your family. It’s about aiming to make things more accessible and more manageable, now and in the future. For aging parents, this might mean: fewer accounts, fewer cards, fewer logins, and fewer headaches. If there are multiple banks, investment firms, or retirement accounts, consider bringing them under one roof and consolidating down to as few accounts as possible unless there’s a good tax or legal reason to keep something separate. It also likely means identifying exactly who is going to step in, with minimal confusion, if you ever need help—and ideally, it’s a combination of a designated power of attorney and/or trusted financial advisor who can navigate a clear roadmap together. It likely means better record keeping of instructions for said individuals so that life can continue as uninterrupted as possible during a crisis, with less risk of missed bills, unnecessary legal bills, or unclaimed/inaccessible accounts. For adult children thinking about their aging parents, this likely means having conversations now before they become more difficult (or aren’t possible) later, understanding who is going to provide help (and in what capacity) when needed, and ensuring your parents have a clear and simple system of records in one safe place to avoid an overwhelming maze of information. Simplicity isn’t just practical—it’s an act of love. Taking the time to consolidate and organize now is more likely to mean fewer burdens later, less stress for everyone, and more time spent on what truly matters: each other.
During periods of stock market volatility like we’ve been experiencing for the past month, it’s easy to become fixated on short-term fluctuations, reacting emotionally to declines rather than focusing on the bigger picture—YOUR bigger picture. Regardless of how many times you’ve been through a market decline, it never makes the next one any easier to stomach, and we understand and empathize with you. However, these moments should serve as a valuable reminder to shift your attention and energy to broader, more impactful aspects of your financial life—such as avoiding estate planning nightmares for your family to deal with. Instead of giving in to the temptation to make impulsive, fear-driven decisions in the heat of the moment (a moment that will pass) that could have a negative impact on your long-term outlook, use this time to focus on other important areas of your financial life that could benefit from action now. In other words, if it’s difficult to sit tight while we ride out a market storm, I recommend redirecting that angst toward something that will have a positive impact on your financial wellbeing now.
We never forget whose money it is that we manage, and we are always here to help your family in any way that we can.
Disclosures: Howe & Rusling is registered with the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) as a registered investment advisor. Registration with the SEC does not imply a certain level of skill or training, and this does not constitute an endorsement by the SEC. The content provided in this piece is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as investment advice, a recommendation, or an offer to buy or sell any securities or financial products. It is not intended to provide legal, tax, or financial advice, and readers are encouraged to consult with their own financial, tax, and legal professionals before making any investment decisions. Past performance is not indicative of future results. Any projections or forward-looking statements made in this piece are based on current assumptions and opinions and may change over time. The value of investments may fluctuate, and there are no guarantees that financial objectives will be achieved. Financial advisory services may be subject to fees, which vary depending on the firm’s policies and the specific services provided. It is important to fully understand the nature of any fees or expenses associated with services before engaging in any agreements. Please refer to the firm’s Form ADV Part 2A for more information regarding fees, services, and potential conflicts of interest. All investments involve risks, including the loss of principal. The advice and strategies discussed may not be suitable for every individual. It is important to assess your individual financial situation, risk tolerance, and investment goals before taking any action. Any references to the potential benefits of working with a financial advisor or simplifying financial systems are not guarantees of specific results. Each individual’s experience may differ based on their unique financial situation, goals, and other factors. Any statements expressed in this piece are the personal opinions of the author and are not necessarily representative of the views of the firm or its clients. The content is intended to provoke thought and discussion and is not intended as an endorsement of any specific actions.
